Katy's Korner

LIFE IS LIKE…A “STORM”

Sometimes you hear a song for the first time and something really hits home.  Whether it’s just a phrase, a line or two or the whole song.  When I first heard Lifehouse’s “Storm”, well, it wasn’t just a homerun, it was completely out of the ballpark.

The song begins,

“How long have I been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head”

How many times have you felt that way?  Perhaps you feel that way now.

The word ‘storm’ can mean so many different things I guess.  We all experience storms in our lives in many different forms. 

Right now a perfect storm has settled over the Schutte house. 

Hurricanes, tropical storms, etc. are given a persons first name. Ours doesn’t sport a name.  We refer to it as a ‘Shit Storm’.  It is as powerful as Hurricanes Andrew and Katrina combined.

I’ll spare you the details. Unfortunately too many people are experiencing the same financial problems.

Hopefully we have passed the eye of the storm.  Still not out of it, but we’re that much closer seeing the sunlight again.  Only God knows, but I’m certainly praying that we’ll be seeing the sun again soon!

He has been helping us tremendously, thru generous family members and offers of ‘if there is anything you need’ from family we know are barely making ends meet themselves.  We would like to take this time to thank them. (You know who you are). 

God is also chipping in with “simple” things.  A new razor found; (Joe was using the cheap ones-all you had to do was look at his face to know that-and we needed to purchase better ones).  I broke my food scale (which I use every time I eat a meal) and found one in the “donate” to St. Vinny’s box.  It was the same day as I found the razor, as a matter of fact. 

Even though that may not seem much to some reading this, it is proof He is providing for us.  Guess it’s the whole “Give us our daily bread” thing.  Personally I would prefer if it was longer than just a day.  But, He did have a reason for that and He’d probably get pissed if I tried to change it.  Perhaps that has to do with all that faith and relying on Him, I guess. 

FINALLY BACK TO THE SONG!

“I know you didn't bring me out here to drown

so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface”

Without trying to be a therapist, how does that relate to you?

“I’m so used to living underneath the surface”.  Eight simple words with so many possible meanings.

Life is a struggle, some times more than others.  That’s when we rely more on Him and our faith to get us through.  Easier said than done.

“Living under the surface.”  To me, that phrase means my depression (and the infamous financial concerns as well).  I’m struggling to reach the surface, to see the light.

To others it may mean you are living under the radar.  Hiding.  Maybe from others and/or daily situations and the struggle that entails.

I doubt that there are any two people with the same exact answer.

“If I could just see you

everything would be alright

if I’d see you
this darkness would turn to light”

“and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright

and I will walk on water

and you will catch me if I fall

and I will get lost into your eyes

I know everything will be alright

I know everything is alright”

Even with the trouble we are having, God has been providing for the Schutte household. 

Look around.  In what simple ways (that you never noticed) has He been providing for you?

“I know everything will be alright”.  Hold on to that and before you know it “everything is alright”.

Life Is Like

LIFE IS LIKE…SEPTEMBER 11^TH

“Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)”.  Country star Alan Jackson put so eloquently into words the most horrific event that, God willing, we will ever experience in our lifetime.

Before I continue on this subject, I feel it is necessary for a little background information about myself before I continue.

For those of you that may not know me.  I was diagnosed with Major Depression shortly after marrying Joe 20 years ago, as much as I’d love to say he is to blame, looking back it had been something that I had been dealing with since my mid teens.

Since my initial diagnosis (like that wasn’t enough) I’ve had several more mental health diagnoses; anxiety & stress issues and most recently, Bipolar II.

Upon the initial diagnosis 20 years ago at the Mayo Clinic, I was told the stress was too much and that I should quit my job or it would get worse.  In denial, I ignored my Doctor’s advice. 

In 2000 I was on literally more than a half a dozen depression and anxiety medications (this after trying a dozen other ones that didn’t work). My Doctor said the next step would be major tranquilizers as I was seeing and hearing things. My depression was definitely too far out of control.

In January she mentioned that it would be in my best interest to quit my job (I had been employed as a Baraga County Deputy County Clerk for 13 years).  She also said she would support, and do all she could do, to get me on Social Security disability due to multiple mental health problems.  A month later I handed in my resignation effective March 1^st.  As it turned out I still couldn’t hang in there until March, I had to take several weeks of sick and vacation time.

Mentally it was one of the best decisions that I have ever made.  With no other alternative and with the full support of Joe I left a well paying job that would leave us financially devastated.  It was truly necessary for my mental health and I yet felt that my job somehow defined who I was.

Prior to all of this, in seven months after my father passed away in January of 1996, I was admitted into the MGH Impatient Stress and Depression Unit.  It was far from a vacation, let me tell you, but was absolutely necessary at the time.

I don’t recall exactly how long I stayed there, but while there my medications were adjusted and I was able to hold on to “my sanity” until 2000.

Finally back to September 11^th.

As Joe was leaving for work that day there was late breaking news that a plane had hit tower number #1.  He stayed glued in front of the television horrified at the scene as it was unfolding. 

Having CRS – Can’t Remember Shit, I’m not exactly sure when I awoke but I immediately called Joe at work and the first words out of my mouth (expletive deleted) were, “What the hell is going on?”

In shock I don’t remember what exactly what he said except I asked him why he didn’t wake me.  Looking back he made the right decision not to, knowing my mental state and that I would learn about it soon enough.  After getting off the phone with him, I sat down and continued to watch in horror along with the rest of the world.  To me, one of the best descriptions of a hero is a person that runs into danger as everyone else is running away.

Rightfully so, the news continued to cover the unfolding events.  As they continued to show the coverage day after day, I couldn’t take it any longer and tried to get the images out of my mind and watched whatever comedy we had available.

I realize that I have been focusing mainly in New York, knowing that other cities were affected.  When I refer to September 11^th, I mean everywhere, every city and every plane that caused destruction.

Many, if not everyone asked and continue to ask, why it happened.  Where was God?  Why didn’t He stop it? 

For those questions I can only tell you what I believe and that is simply, He was there.

In the stories of every survivor.

For example

How normally there would have been more people in the twin towers at that time in the morning, saving countless people.

Hearing every prayer said all around the world.

Consoling everyone that lost a loved one and those that didn’t know if their family member had been in the tower or not.

Giving strength to the hero’s, both the ones doing their job and those that stepped up to do whatever they could do.

He was there with his arms wide open for all of those that were killed, bringing them to Heaven.

He was also in Heaven shedding tears.  We saw the debris of buildings, planes, the smoke, ash and papers flying around in the sky.  His tears were there also, even if we couldn’t see them.

I urge you to continue to pray for all of those still suffering with their individual issues as a result of that day.

I also urge you to remember that in every race there are good people and bad ones as well.  Hate breeds hate.  That is not what this country needs!

Scary times still continue.  Unfortunately that is a reality, but if there is anything we can do is to try look at the best in people.

Upon every ones death, we will be held accountable for our lives.  This is His job, not ours.

Geography is definitely not one of my strong suits.  I still can’t point out Iraq on a map (I can’t spell either so I’m not going to bother with the other countries).  But what I do know is our servicemen and women would rather be home with all the comforts it brings, than stationed away.

It doesn’t matter if you agree with the war or not, they, along with their families, are making huge sacrifices to keep America safe for each and everyone of us.  I urge you to pray and support them.  If you are unable to give financial support, a simple (and free) thank you to those families would be appreciated.

If you happen to see our servicemen and women in the armed forces, thank them for their service.

To sum this up.  God bless and protect America and all of us lucky enough to call Her home.

Katy Manning Schutte

Please Note:  This is my first post to the blog and I would like to include the following even though it truly has no place in this September 11th article.

I want to credit my beloved husband Joe.  His creative writing style of being able to work humor in everything he writes.  I Hope that during the 10 years of reading and being the 1^st editor of his column that some of his creativity has worn-off on me.  If not, blame him, I will.

I also want to say that I honestly believe that I would not still be alive if not for his unwavering support and love.  He has gone through more than you can ever image with my ongoing mental illnesses and numerous other major issues in my life.  He has always stayed by my side and keeps me and my mental health as his #1 priority.

With everything I have, and unfortunately continue to, put him through he is still with me.  It is my firm belief that no other man on the face of this planet would have stayed with me this long.

I pray for him (and would appreciate your prayers as well) both in thanks and also the heavy burden that he continues to carry.

Thank you for reading this article and I promise that they are not all gushy about Joe!

I like to consider my Life Is Like… articles everyday things and how God works into them.

As a teaser, upcoming ones include:

Life Is Like…

    Poo (yes, poo)

    An Anti-Virus

    Fingernails…Not A Box Of Chocolates

    A Septic Tank

    A Hot Flash

Again, thanks for reading and remember, if you don’t like my writing style, blame Joe!

Katy

  

Rants and Ramblings

The Joe Schutte Manifesto (of sorts)

The following is a rant of mine that has been a long time coming.

There are many out in the world today who don’t believe the way I do about religion; the right to marriage for gay and lesbian couples; repealing Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell; affordable health care for all, even if it must be provided by the government; equality for all; not shooting illegal immigrants on sight; if you were born here you’re an American citizen; regulation of Wall Street and big business to prevent another Great Recession and ease the financial burden of the family and individual; a robust and vibrant small business environment.

I believe we are not taking the best care of our fighting men and women, who deserve great health care, on us, for the rest of their lives; money to go to college; low interest loans for buying a home and our undying gratitude for doing what we ask of them, without question. Our men and women in the military deserve to go into battle with the best equipment money can buy. No soldier should fear dishonorable discharge because of their sexuality.

These beliefs don’t make me a communist, a socialist or an enemy combatant. I know there is give and take in life, in the political process and the business world. But right now no one is giving and everyone is taking. That’s their right and their prerogative. But it’s beginning to piss me off.

Over the last year I have opened and read some horrible and truly frightening emails about our President, Democratic leaders of Congress, immigrants, gays, blacks, Muslims and whatever else inspires prejudice in some people. I have friends whom I disagree with politically, but they don’t send these emails. Theirs are always funny, fair jabs addressing the President, Democrats and current administration policies they may disagree with. I can give as good as I get. The result? No hard feelings and everyone is talking to each other at the end of the day.

The others? For the most part they are forwarded to me by some who think they know me, but obviously don’t.
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Please note the interchangeable use of genders when I am speaking of God. I don’t think He/She is all that worried about it. (Some readers may disagree.) I have also erred on the side of caution when capitalizing honorifics, such as those associated with our government; i.e. President, Congressman/woman, etc.
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So, if after reading this little rambling preamble you don’t want to use my silhouette as a target at the rifle range, and you think you’re up for it, read on McDuff. (By the way, it’s all over the place. So hang on tight it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.)

It’s been a whirlwind time of groundbreaking rulings and anniversaries. Most importantly, there is the overturning of Prop 8 in California. All I can say is, hurrah! In case you’ve been living in a cave, Proposition 8 overturned California’s law allowing gay marriage. Gay marriage seems to scare the living crap out of people in a way I have never understood. Especially some in the church.

I am not speaking about all churches or all religions, mind you. Just those religions that believe they, above all others, hold the monopoly on speaking for God Herself. As it best suits their prejudices here on this earth.

As a disillusioned Catholic, I can not reconcile the church’s vehement refusal to extend the sacrament of marriage to gay couples when some (but not all) straight couples--which the church supports--wreak havoc on the family unit in ways that are both horrific and demeaning. These couples or individuals can be ultimately forgiven through the sacrament of reconciliation (confession) and still continue their sin; running and hiding behind the grace bestowed by the sacrament in the confessional.
                                          
I am well aware there are many who don’t hold my viewpoint, and they are entitled to their opinion. In this case I believe they are wrong. As much as they believe I’m going to burn in hell. Gay marriage isn’t going to bring on the apocalypse, the rise of the machines or rampant pedophilia (a game favorite of those who use their stature and power to demean and abuse those weaker then they, who look to them for counsel and guidance.)

But it doesn’t end there. The scary stuff is just beginning and gets scarier and scarier by the day.

Did you know?  
Those who oppose, or do not subscribe to the tenants of the Republican party, the Tea Party, radical right-wing political pundits and the religious far right are considered to be either unpatriotic, anti-American or worse. It’s the worse that I’m worried about.

A fallback to a new age of McCarthy-ism is a frightening, and all too real, prospect. If you don’t believe me, a well-known Republican senatorial candidate from Nevada has twice said she believes there are people within Congress whom she claims are “domestic enemies”. Really? She of course refuses to specifically name anyone. Yet.

The President and the Democratically controlled Congress can’t seem to reign in a Republican party run amok. A party whose main goal in life appears to be obstructing any legislation, good or bad, that may benefit the disadvantaged or the middle class. Is it out of political spite? Or fear of a constituency they no longer understand?

Less concerned about the common good, should Republicans regain leadership of even one house of Congress this nation could be thrown into a modern day "dark age”. An age where science, education and the will of the people are repressed by a government giving sway to a small but powerful witch-hunting, right-wing conservative group of demagogues in big business, the right-wing media and a politically active, ultra-conservative church.

The damage they’ll do could set this country back 150 years in terms of equal rights for minorities and women, the stagnation of scientific and medical advancement and research, and, if they could swing it, the return of the Cold War. Small comforts, I suppose. The devil you know and all...

I must again reiterate that everyone has a right to speak their mind. The Bill of Rights protects the right of a certain segment of society to spew hatred and sow fear into the minds and hearts of people who are left to feel they are in some way disadvantaged by people they don’t understand. People who don’t look like them, speak like them, or have the same color skin.

That same Bill of Rights protects my right to advance my disappointment and outright fear of that group of people I believe are going to gleefully destroy what’s left of the middle class and increase the plight of the poor by dismantling medicare, medicaid, social security and affordable health care because we do not deserve the same entitlements as the rich and powerful. Unless we mortgage the farm to do so. Forget that. Big Banks aren’t lending.

Then there is the promise of taking the sting out of, or even the rescinding of, hate crime laws. Laws protecting minorities, the gay and lesbian community, women, the trans-gendered, the poor, the immigrant, and anyone left who doesn’t fall into the category of old, white and filthy rich. (As said by a guy who is old, white, and far less than rich.)

It has taken years to get these laws into place and it is hard enough to get enforcement as it is.

The courts will protect us?
Fear not a supposed liberal, elite-minded, activist judiciary. Turn to the current conservative-leaning Supreme court which has consistently voted on the side of big business, the insurance industry and Wall Street. Thanks to a recent Supreme Court ruling, any group that can pony up millions of dollars of corporate funds to support and buy influence in federal election campaigns is now free to do so, trumping the individual and giving even greater power and influence to big business and Wall Street.

I grant you, those who espouse the need for smaller federal government may have a point. There should be less governmental interference in our lives. A bloated and broken federal system is in need of an overhaul. But dismantling it altogether is asking for nothing less than anarchy. A country this large needs governance, not with a heavy hand, but with wisdom and decency. A government run by flesh and blood individuals, not corporations.

Does this make me anti-business? Not in the least. It makes me pro-government ‘of the people, by the people, for the people’. There is no place in our federal or state governance for a senator “Wall Street” or congresswoman “Insurance Lobby”. But today’s Supreme Court would have it so. Who’s the activist now?

As for those who believe we must turn to some form of faith-based (Christian) government? Well...no. I have great faith in our ability to manage our nation with compassion, common sense and an underlying morality handed down to us thousands of years ago by God in her many manifestations. But not specifically in His Name.

As a Roman Catholic (lapsed and disillusioned, but I made that point already) I don’t want the Vatican calling the shots anymore than I would the Missouri Synod or the 700 Club. Anyone who says they are governing or wish to govern in God’s name is lying. It’s not what God wants, it’s what those who would embrace a Christian, faith-based government want. The fact they want to force it upon everyone else makes it even more wrong. And yet they still persist. It’s not power to the people. It’s more like “power over the people”. Can I have a witness? Amen!

Just say No to theocracy      
For those who wish to declare the United States a Christian Nation I have this to say, “The God of Abraham, the God of Mohammed, Gaia, the Great Spirit, and the God of many others doesn’t want the job of running the country. She wants us to run it. For ours is a country of Christians, Jews, Hindus, Muslims, Wiccans, Neo-Pagans, Greek Orthodox, Eastern Orthodox, Agnostics, Athiests and a whole lot more.”

Don’t you see? The United States of America is a Christian nation, a Jewish nation, a Hindu nation, a Wiccan nation. The list goes on. This nation belongs to all religions. All religions have the freedom to flourish in this country. That’s what makes it great. That’s what makes it the United States of America. Not the United States of the Judeo-Christian belief system.

Even if the population is predominately Christian we must welcome all to practice their faith freely without interference. I pulled this little ditty, in part, from the United States Constitution: The First Amendment to the United States Constitution reads "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof ;". Seems pretty straight forward to me.

Oh, and guess what everyone? We have a black president. (Actually, our president enjoys a dual racial heritage. Being the son of a white mother and a black father.) He’s an American citizen, a Christian (not that it should matter), an orator, a lawyer, our president. He’s not perfect. Right now I feel he is listening to the wrong people in regard to the economy and jobs. I’m not happy about it. But, I can deal with it. Because the alternative, as I have mentioned, frightens me more. Boo!

As I have stated more times than are probably necessary, there are many out in real life who do not feel as I do. They’ve made their voices heard and their thoughts known. In some very unsavory ways. This is my voice. These are my thoughts. Not as eloquent and smart as some people I admire, such as Rachel Maddow. Nor am I as completely informed as Anderson Cooper. I can only dream to have the wit, humor and satire of Jon Stewart. It would be nice though.

This is who I am. And this is how I feel. Thanks for hearing me out.